


Safe

by melwil



Category: Spooks | MI-5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-10
Updated: 2011-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-17 21:05:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/181167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melwil/pseuds/melwil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam tries to feel safe again. No spoilers past season 3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in 2006

Sam always assumed Colin's hands would be smooth and soft.

It is a shock when he touches her, a shock she doesn't completely understand as he runs his hands across her bare shoulders, down the length of her arms. He possesses a gentle roughness and she wonders why she never expected it.

"Are you sure about this?" he whispers, soft and low, his mouth close to her ear.

She strives to remember a past time, to remember when she was confident, to remember when she was completely sure of herself.

She isn't sure of anything, anymore.

He drops his chin, as if to acknowledge her silent answer. He knows they shouldn't be together, that their reunion is forbidden by the powers-that-be. They are supposed to forget, supposed to move on, to make new relationships and discard the old.

He drops a light kiss in the middle of her back, and she tells herself that everything will be just fine, that this is exactly what she's supposed to be doing.

She doesn't feel so empty when Colin holds her.

They lay together in dim lamp-light, with muffled sounds of traffic filtering through partially opened windows. Colin runs a finger down the side of her face, as she turns to look away.

"You shouldn't have come." She stares at the ceiling, as he pushes her unruly hair behind her ears.

"You shouldn't have tried to keep me away." Colin kisses slowly, deliberately, and she finds herself leaning in to him. He rubs her arms and shoulders, and wipes away the tears she didn't even know she was shedding.

"It was supposed to get better," she whispered. "I thought it would get better."

Colin wraps his arms around her and they roll over until she is lying on top of him. Her hair falls forward, a curtain around their faces, and she kisses him, again and again.

She closes her eyes and his hands explore her body. She pretends that his touch is magical, healing her, making everything whole again. She lies with his arms wrapped tightly around her and pretends that she is safe.

He wraps a blanket around her and makes her a cup of tea and, for a moment, she pretends they might have the impossible. That they can spend the rest of their lives together, that there will be no outside world trying to push its way in.

But it's a dream and she knows it.

She knows that he will have to leave her, eventually. She knows that he will come back, once or twice. She knows she will have to push him away, because there are powers bigger than the two of them, and they will insist on it.

She knows she'll never feel this safe again.


End file.
